No, Its not that complicated; Arguments on the Overworked High School Student

NYT adds to the "oh sigh we must worry about our overworked HS youth" pile

Inexplicably, they focus on what they call "amazing girls"... at a co-ed public school. They barely touch on some issues of 'feminism' or 'feminist quandaries', but mostly just in addition to general issues of kids trying to hard to get into the top 50 or so schools. I did not see any explanation for focusing on females... odd.

Ms. Kelley, however, wondered aloud: “Don’t you worry that she never rebelled? When I was growing up, you were supposed to rebel.”
But she acknowledged that she had sent her own mixed signals. “As I’m sitting here saying I don’t care what kind of grades she gets, I’m thinking, she comes home with a B, and I say: ‘What’d you get a B for? Who gave you a B? I’m going to talk to them.'
...
Mr. Mobley nodded. “We’re not above it,” he said. “It’s complicated.”

No. Its not complicated. Either you support your child and don't try to pull strings, and honestly want them to do what is best for their personal development regardless of grades or college admissions and set a non-contradictoryexample or you don't. Done, end of story. You either simultaneously say "oh honey, that's fine, as long as I know you are growing up well, and are developing your mind and self, then go for it," or but still lay on the pressure... or you (and all the other parents around you, because once one of you rebels, that little act of rebellion will be oh so cool and everyone will want to fall in line and be as liberal and open minded as you) actually support your child in what you profess to be your own values.

But really, this small alcove of valuing education primarily as it appears on paper but at least (unfortunately?) being aware of the ensuing conflicts that NYT chose to profile seems to at least be indicative of the tone these types of articles take. While these articles frequently try to profile the contradictions the students receive, this piece goes further to include the parents. The supposedly rational, intelligent people with multiple degrees from Ivies who also grew up with rebellion being praised. These parents struggle with this? This piece and its interview questions and their personal responses fail to shame them in realizing the results of their actions and attitudes? The parents merely have to stop contradicting themselves, collectively or individually, and then game over, problem solved, at least for their children, who would then theoretically become well rounded people with solid perspectives.

“I said, ‘Aliza, this is crazy, I have so much homework to do, and I won’t be able to relax until I do it all. I haven’t gone out in weeks!’ And Aliza (who had also been staying in on Fridays and Saturdays to do homework) pointed out: ‘I’d rather get into college.’ ”

I really hope that this is some sort of (questionable) trade off, where these students trade having an adolescence for having a fulfilling college experience - which includes non-resume items! (Even, if I supposed, those non-resume items might just turn into interview fodder for the next step of their lives. "I sometimes go to museums for fun instead of studying" "Oh, please tell me more.")

Want to really know what all these pressures and questions will mean? Talk to college students or recent graduates who also had come through this school. Studying an ongoing phenomenon from inside, this this, fails to illuminate the whole picture. Do a longitudinal study, and get back to these kids in three years, and ask how their high school experience influence their college experience, and what they want to do when they graduate. The responses should be much more interesting and informing (rather than standard alarmist). You need that distance from the experience, and the enclave of attitude, to determine what affects you and from where your own attitudes arise, in contrast to others' experiences.



I'll save commenting on their terrible dilemmas of what to wear, and the fact that none of the non-'amazing girls' were even discussed for another day.

In summary : another piece of alarmist journalism with a small subject pool with its own answers obvious.